God has been teaching me much in the past week...about trust, about pain, about His faithfulness when I am faithless, about resting in Him when everything else seems uncertain.
A little over a week ago my life changed dramatically. With one difficult decision all my plans for the future came crashing down; leaving me with a sick feeling in my stomach and a void in my heart.
I find myself asking, "God, what now? I know You have a purpose in this, but can't You let me see a little of the bigger picture?"
Today even my own personal pain seemed to pale as I sat in the hospital room of my adopted Grandma and listened to a doctor tell her she has cancer...and later tonight as I learned that the nephew of a family in our church, a teenager, took his own life this morning, I thought my heart would break over the anguish and grief these families must be experiencing.
In times like these I find it very difficult not to ask God, "Why?" Somehow I don't think God minds honest questions. In the Psalms David repeatedly and bluntly asks God why He allows things to happen. I find this comforting. Yet, it is also challenging to see that time and again after he questions, David comes back to God's faithfulness and says..."But I still trust in You."
This is what David said after one of his periods of questioning God...
"Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant--I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:21-26 (NLT)
I may not ever know the answers...my heart may ache with the pain of life...I may not get to see the bigger picture until Heaven...but I can rest in God's faithfulness and in knowing that...
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8
I'm praying for you Heid!
ReplyDeleteOh, friend. I am still praying for you. <3
ReplyDeleteHeidi...I did hear about the young boy...that was the church I got saved in, so was connected in many ways...and understand the grief that goes with "weeping with those who weep." It's not easy...but, God has called us to it...it's what we can do for our brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling. So sorry to hear about your adopted Grandma! Will be praying...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found you blog!
Sarah