Best of 2009

This will be my last opportunity to blog in the year 2009. In honor of this occasion, I would love to share some pictures that highlight some of my favorite memories from the past year.


COLLEGE

Being an RA to this wonderful group of girls...what a life-changing experience.



Conducting class...learning an art form, striving for excellence, and having loads of fun during "conducting parties". This pic was taken around midnight before the final.


Musical opportunities! Our wonderful piano, clarinet and violin trio during "Evening of Classics".


Random adventures that involved getting up at 4:30 a.m. to go to a "chocolate breakfast" in Des Moines!



GRADUATION

After five wonderful, exhausting, precious, short, challenging, life-changing years...I finished college.


Getting an achievement award


BABIES

One of my best friends had her first baby! I became an "aunt"


WICKED:THE MUSICAL

Seeing this show live was a highlight of my year and probably my entire life!



Seeing it with dear friends made it even better!



CHRISTMAS WITH FAMILY

Celebrating at Grammie and Papa's house


Goofing off with cousins


Laughing with my mom


Spending time all together...


Farewell 2009...I will miss you.

The Potter

A couple of weeks ago a friend encouraged me through the gentle reminder that, like a Potter, my Savior is fashioning me and His strong hands will never let me go. I was touched and inspired by that reminder, and through that inspiration came this...maybe one day I will turn it into a song.

A weary pilgrim, tired of walking,
Is fighting to keep up the pace.
The load he carried, is not forgotten,
Yet removed by grace.
As he struggles and cries in despair,
'I just can't go on one more day'
A still small voice, pierces the silence,
And says, 'Child, I will show you the way.'

'Because my everlasting arms are around you,
And like a Potter, I am shaping your soul.
Though the darkness seems to surround you,
My light is guiding you home.
You need not fear midst the trials,
Though fears wage war in your soul.
In the valley I will not leave you,
And through brokenness I will make you whole.'

Copyright: Heidi Robbins 2009

I'll Be Home for Christmas...

Christmas in the Robbins' household is drawing to a close. It has been a beautiful, fun-filled time.

In our little family of four the Christmas celebration always takes place on Christmas Eve. As children, my brother and I impatiently waited until evening to open our long-awaited presents. Now that we are adults the wait is not quite as painstaking but instead is viewed as the way things should be done.

I stumbled through the door yesterday evening exhausted from a stressful day at work. Being a manager at a grocery store during the holidays requires loads of energy, patience, and good humor. I was feeling low on all three by the time I clocked out that evening. However, in my 30 minute drive home I turned on soothing Christmas music and tried my best to revive my Christmas spirit.

I arrived home to see the lights from our Christmas tree glowing through the window, beckoning me to come inside. My brother greeted me with a freshly baked cookie and the announcement that supper was almost ready. We sat down to consume our traditional Christmas meal of steak and homemade french fries. (A tradition started in the Robbins' family by my great-grandmother). After the delicious meal we moved into the living room to open presents.

Before we open presents my dad read us the Christmas story out of a children's book. Every year for as long as I can remember he has read to us this story to remind us of the true reason we celebrate Christmas. Afterward we sang a few Christmas carols in four-part harmony (after arguing about the correct key in which to begin singing :-) Following this we began opening gifts. It is our custom to open gifts one at a time. After someone opens his or her gift it is then their turn to pick a present for the next person. This procedure often lasts late into the evening and allows us to enjoy the pleasure of giving and watching each other delight in the gifts. The time was filled with much laughter and the taking of many pictures. Afterwards we finished the evening with a movie and ice cream.

I woke up this morning to a sadly green Christmas. A few snow flurries were blowing around in the air, but nothing stuck to the frozen ground. However, the green did not spoil the Christmas spirit. We started the morning lazily with coffee, cinnamon rolls, and the opening of stockings.

The rest of the day was spent enjoying time together as a family. We played some intense games of Scattegories, Clue, Masterpiece, and Sorry. Any games turn into a wild time in my highly competitive family! This was accompanied by more eating, laughter, and thankfulness that we could simply have a day to spend together without the pressures of work and the stress of day to day life.

Now that the day is nearly over we can look back with thankful hearts on the privilege we have of being with family and having a reason to celebrate.

"For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11

On the Job: Incidents and Insights

Today while at work a little girl (roughly 3 years of age) informed me that all she wanted for Christmas was a Barbie that sings (in the shower) and a ring with a butterfly on it.

Childhood is precious.

Abundant Life

"I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
John 10:10

Abundant life. Many times I get the picture in my mind that an abundant life is an easy life...a life of leisure filled with relaxation, sleep, time with friends and family, time to pursue hobbies, and never having to worry about problems like finances, work, health, relationships, etc.

But that kind of life is a fantasy life. In fact, that life would eventually become rather dull.

It is through the trials, pressures, routines, and challenges of living that we are forced to grow. It is in the midst of these circumstances that God reveals Himself to us more fully in all of His grace, mercy, forgiveness, and wonder. True joy comes with the realization that God is behind and overseeing everything in life.

The abundant life comes when we are able to understand that God has given us all that we need; that our lives are His to touch and mold and control; that His Word and His grace are sufficient.

Abundant life is what I have received.

Abundant life is knowing Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and being able to read the Bible and pray.

Abundant life is being able to wake up every day thankful that I have another day of health, another day to work hard, another day to treasure my family and friends.

Abundant life is seeing God in the details.

Abundant life is recognizing God in the pain, trials and heartaches.

Abundant life is serving, growing, witnessing, hoping, and waiting.

Abundant life is knowing that this world won't last forever, but that Heaven is waiting on the other side.

Abundant life is eternal life.

Unexpected Furry Surprises

One week ago had any of you asked my opinon about cats, I would have gladly shared with you my general dislike of that animal species. In my opinion, cats were obnoxious, lazy creatures, and I had little interest in them. (With the exception of kittens which, unfortunately, grow into big cats).

However, a week ago, my dad made a small discovery. (May mention here that he and I are of the same opinion about cats, only he is also allergic to them). While looking for something in our storage shed he discovered that a stray calico cat had taken up residence there... and not only that, she had given birth to seven tiny bundles of fur that we call kittens. Oh dear. This is a problem for my non-pet-owning family.

Out of the goodness of our hearts we let the little furry family stay. Then we had to bring the mama cat water. Then we bought her food because she looked so skinny. Now I make almost daily trips to the shed to make sure all is well in the family. Dare I venture to say that the mama and I have become friends? She purs and loves being scratched, and climbs up into my lap for some attention, and presumably, some warmth. Today she let me close enough to hold one of the tiny kittens who was just beginning to crack open its eyes.

I believe I have fallen for this furry family. And I will enjoy watching them grow for as long as we are privileged to have them with us.

"Goodbye is not Forever"

Tonight I spoke on the phone with one of my dear friends. She and I spent nearly a year of our lives on a mission team together in Peru. We helped each other through some very difficult spiritual struggles and times of discouragement. And we also shared some hilarious times of laughter and adventure.

Tomorrow she leaves the United States to fly to Honduras and get married. Tomorrow she begins a whole new chapter of life.

Today I realized that it is very likely that we will not see one another again...until Heaven. What a bittersweet thought...but what a reunion that will be!




Te quiero un montón, Steph! Estoy orando para ti...nos vemos.

There's So Much to be Thankful For: A Relationship with God

Of all the things for which I am thankful...I am most thankful for this...

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit." Titus 3:5

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus..." Romans 8:1

"Who whall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35, 38-39

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

"Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:23-26

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I hope in Him!" Lamentations 3:22-24

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4

"...and thus we shall always be with the Lord." 1 Thessalonians 4:17

Happy Thanksgiving!

There's So Much to be Thankful For: Family

My heart is overflowing tonight with thankfulness for the people who I am able to call my family. I do not deserve the blessing of having them all as a part of my life. Godly parents and grandparents, a brother who is also a best friend, and aunts and uncles and cousins who I may not get to see very often, but when we get together there is always much laughter and making of memories.

Tonight I don't have adequate words to express the love and appreciation I have for all of them, so I will simply leave you with pictures of some of the faces that mean so much to me.


My Family



My brother Nathan and I being ourselves



Grammie and Papa Frier



Some of the Frier "chicas"




Mema and Papa Robbins




The Whole Robbins Clan (minus Gracie and Darren)



I love you all!

There's So Much to be Thankful For: Friends

Yesterday was a fourteen-hour work day...hence the lack of a thanksgiving post. (Let me clarify...I was still thankful, just not coherent enough to write) Sorry to any of you who were disappointed. :-)

Today I am thankful for my friends.

Correction, everyday I am thankful my friends.

There is almost no greater joy in life than that of true friendship.

In true friendship there is no pretending; they know you for who you really are, but the amazing thing is, they love you anyway.

True friends pray for you.

True friends encourage you.

True friends tell it to you like it is.

True friends are there to scream in excitement with you during times of joy, and to hug you in times of sorrow when there are simply no words.

True friendship does not end because of goodbyes, or distance, or time, or change.

To my true friends,
I love you, I thank God for you, and I rejoice that because of Christ, we will spend eternity together.

There's So Much to be Thankful For: Rerun

Today's post was supposed to be random...I ran a little shorter on time today than I was expecting, so instead of creating something new I decided to re-post an old blog entry (March 2006). A couple comments no longer apply...like the roommate, and seven o'clock classes (that was the year that I had classes at 7am five days a week, for both semesters. I can now joyfully say that they do not last forever!) As I re-read this list I see the words of a young, nineteen-year-old college sophomore...a girl quite different from the one who looks me in the mirror every morning, yet in some ways, the same. It is humbling to think back on those days and remember the faithfulness of God from then...until now.
______________________________
I am so blessed....what am I thankful for?

The many dear friends God has given to me
Being able to simply live and enjoy life
Finding joy in the little things
Playing the piano
Singing loudly when no one is listening
Classes to stretch my thinking
Philosophical discussions
A roommate who can read my mind
Late nights and long talks
Laughter
My bed
The fact that 7:00 classes won't last forever
Waking up and hitting snooze
Sweatpants and sweatshirts
Being able to run
Eating home-cooked food
Seeing the new life of spring come to the earth
Melting snow
The ocean
Sunsets (and sunrises if I am awake)
Pictures to remember memories
Girlfriends to share secrets with
A family who loves me
A God who saved me
God's Word to guide me
Eternity to look forward to.....

"At midnight I will rise to give thanks to You..." Ps. 119:62

There's So Much to be Thankful For: Music

This topic was easy...anyone who knows me can tell you that I am a music nerd (and I will freely admit to it!) I am so thankful that God has given us the gift of music... and that He has gifted so many talented people with the ability to write lyrics and tunes that inspire us now and, in some cases, have inspired people for centuries!

This post is bound to be a little ecclectic...much like my musical taste. I am simply going to throw out some favorite music recommendations; some are inspiring, some are encouraging, and some are just plain fun!

-Favorite musical to listen to and sing along with: Wicked. Hands down. Its even better to watch a live performance! :-)

-Favorite new artist: Brandon Heath. I have yet to own any of his cds, but I love his sound. Check out the music videos for two of his songs..."Wait and See", and "Give Me Your Eyes".

-Favorite classical composers: Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsy, and Chopin

-Favorite current composer: Dan Forrest. Click here to listen to excerpts from the cd of his recent choral works. My favorites are the "Words from Paradise", "Goodnight, Dear Heart", and "Oread Farewell"

-Favorite instrument: Piano...especially if its a full concert grand. I firmly belive there will be pianos in Heaven.

-Favorite classical song I attempt to play on piano: Chopin's "Revolutionary Etude op 10 no 12". Look it up... there's no other way to put it...this song rocks. If I ever play it even a fraction of how its supposed to sound it'll be an accomplishment.

-Favorite guy singer: Josh Groban and David Phelps compete for first.

-Favorite woman singer: Don't really have one...any suggestions?

-Favorite instrument to listen to: Besides piano, probably the french horn or saxaphone.

-Favorite hymn: There are many, but my current favorite is "Jesus I am Resting, Resting" I love this hymn set to a new tune... but the words are spectacular. I leave you to ponder their depth.

Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.

O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.

Chorus:

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

There's So Much to be Thankful For: Knowledge

The topic of knowledge is not usually the first to pop into my mind when I start mentally listing things to be thankful for. However, the more I think about it, the more grateful I am to have a God who creates us as human beings with the ability to learn, reason, debate, question, and absorb information around us. It is literally mind-boggling to think about the brain's capacity to retain information (whether it can always recall this information is another matter entirely). :-)

After spending some time in thought, (no puns intended...ever...you all know me) I have narrowed down to three specific categories of knowledge that make me especially grateful.

1. Books. First and foremost, the Bible has had the most profound influence on my life and growth. Anything else comes nowhere near in comparison. However, there are scores of other books that have impacted my life in various ways. There is no room here to mention them all, but I will list a few that stick out in my mind currently.
-Desiring God--by John Piper challenged my thinking in many areas and forced me to think deeper about things of God than I ever had before.
-The Journals of Jim Elliott--Published by Elizabeth Elliott. One of the most powerful stories of a life lived sold out for God.
-Some Wildflower in My Heart--by Jamie Langston Turner, possibly my favorite fiction book. Her unique writing style and detailed description are pleasantly appealing.
-Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands--by Paul David Tripp was a required reading book in college...but the best required reading I ever had. Excellent resource on counseling others (and yourself) towards Biblical change. I could go on and on...but I must stop the list here.

2. Learning another language. Never have I gone through something so painfully rewarding as learning the beautiful Spanish language. I believe everyone should attempt to learn at least one other language in their lifetime. God created our minds with a great capacity to learn...and learning to speak someone else's heart language is the best way to absorb a culture far different than our own..and the best way to minister to someone different than our own nationality.

3. Dedicated teachers. Where would I be today if it weren't for the people that inspired me to push myself, to question, to discover, and to strive for excellence? I am forever grateful to these people. There are many, however three in particular deserve to be mentioned.
-Miss Ball--my 10th grade Biology teacher (via satellite). She made science fun...even strange topics like genetics and parasitic worms!
-Mrs. Hartog--My college women's ministries teacher. Her passion for God's Word; teaching it accurately and thoroughly, loving and ministering to others, and being dedicated to faithful study will forever be ingrained in my mind. Her classes were challenging, but I will use the principles I learned in them throughout my lifetime.
-Dr. Van--My college music teacher, choir and summer ministry team director, and friend. His classes contributed to much of my lack of sleep throughout college, but I will never cease to be thankful for the way he pushed me to think, and think, and think things through,:-) and the way he constantly reminded me never to settle for "good enough" but to always strive for excellence for the glory of God.

There's So Much to be Thankful For: Creation

As I begin this week-long journey of thankfulness, I chose to start with creation. The majestic beauty that surrounds us every day never fails to make me stand in awe of the works of my Creator God. For this post I have chosen to highlight only a few aspects of nature for which I am grateful.

Mountains

I feel so small and insignificant when I stand surrounded by towering mountains. While the Rockies and the Appalachians possess their own unique beauty, in my mind, nothing compares to the glory of the Andes. This photo does not begin to do justice to their beauty. So many times during the year I spent in Peru I would simply stand and "lift my eyes to the hills" and remember that my help came from the same Lord who created them.

The Ocean

I waited nearly nineteen years for my first glimpse of the ocean. Never will I forget that day. The summer after my freshman year of college I traveled all over the United States with a music team to represent our school. Our travels eventually took us to the East Coast. That first day at the ocean was spent on boat off the coast of Florida. Jumping in the clear blue water, floating so easily, and tasting the salt made me giddy like a child. Later we traveled farther up the coast to one of my favorite places where this picture was taken, Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

My Midwest

Someone wisely once said "There's no place like home." I believe with all my heart that this is true. While there are many places which may boast of their own beauty, nothing makes me more thankful than seeing the glory of the created world which surrounds me every day. This picture of a double rainbow was taken this summer outside my back door. Nothing speaks of God's faithfulness more than a rainbow.



While this photo will never win a contest because of the obvious telephone pole and signs marring the view, I still love it. This is God displaying His artistry just outside my front door on a summer evening.

What are you thankful for in creation?

On the Job: Incidents and Insights #1

Working in retail provides one with many stunning insights into the human psyche...well, maybe that is going a bit too far, however, it does provide one with many amusing stories to recount.

Today a couple of my co-workers and I shared a chuckle over a frazzled elderly lady who came through the line. She vented to us about the stress of having to shop for and cook an early Thanksgiving meal for her whole family while her husband "the big Jerk" was out deer hunting. Not to mention that no one else was helping her fix the meal...and so on. As she made out her check she exclaimed, "This is why I have high blood pressure! And the Doctor says to remove the stress from my life. Goodbye family!"

This could be the first of many work-related tales published for your reading enjoyment!

More to Come...

Last night before bed I had a little bit of a brainstorm (this is when all the best brainstorms happen, I believe). I began thinking about ideas for upcoming blog posts (since I blog so frequently)...Since Thanksgiving will be here in a little over a week, I have decided to celebrate this special holiday by posting each day on a different category of things for which I am thankful. Starting Thursday the 19th the countdown will begin.

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever"

Care to join me?

Its all about perspective...

Amusing moment of the day:

Tonight I learned that my cousin works for an eye bank. The most polite and least nauseating way of explaining his job is to simply say that he "harvests" eyes from the deceased who have donated their eyes to science. Ahem.

Tonight I became very thankful for my job...

Let the Waters Rise...

Thought I would share with you a recent favorite song...





Disclaimer: Yes, some of the pictures on this video are a bit cheesy, and no, I do not know why there are only men pictured in this video...however, my point was simply to let you all hear the song and this was about the best video I could find. :-)

A Storm in a Teacup

Today was an encouraging day of worship at church. I got to hear my favorite pastor preach again (he just so happens to be my dad). This morning's message was titled "Never Give Up" and the context was 2 Corinthians 4. What struck me most were verses 17-18.

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

All the trials we face here on earth are described as "light"; whereas the glory that awaits us in Heaven is described as "heavy". What an awesome concept to ponder. Someone once described our momentary trials as "a storm in a teacup". In comparision with what is to come, they are just that insignificant. Wow.

Awaiting the Answers

The longer I sit at my keyboard tonight, the harder it seems to form the right words for this post. My mind is full of many things and I am tired...but at the moment my heart is heavier than my eyelids.

God has been teaching me much in the past week...about trust, about pain, about His faithfulness when I am faithless, about resting in Him when everything else seems uncertain.

A little over a week ago my life changed dramatically. With one difficult decision all my plans for the future came crashing down; leaving me with a sick feeling in my stomach and a void in my heart.

I find myself asking, "God, what now? I know You have a purpose in this, but can't You let me see a little of the bigger picture?"

Today even my own personal pain seemed to pale as I sat in the hospital room of my adopted Grandma and listened to a doctor tell her she has cancer...and later tonight as I learned that the nephew of a family in our church, a teenager, took his own life this morning, I thought my heart would break over the anguish and grief these families must be experiencing.

In times like these I find it very difficult not to ask God, "Why?" Somehow I don't think God minds honest questions. In the Psalms David repeatedly and bluntly asks God why He allows things to happen. I find this comforting. Yet, it is also challenging to see that time and again after he questions, David comes back to God's faithfulness and says..."But I still trust in You."
This is what David said after one of his periods of questioning God...

"Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant--I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:21-26 (NLT)

I may not ever know the answers...my heart may ache with the pain of life...I may not get to see the bigger picture until Heaven...but I can rest in God's faithfulness and in knowing that...

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8

Solace...

Poem from the Devotional Streams in the Desert

Perhaps thou, too, hast camped by such sweet waters,
And quenched with joy thy weary parched soul's thirst:
To find, as time goes on, thy streamlet alters,
From what it was at first.

Hearts that have cheered, or soothed, or blest, or strengthened:
Loves that have lavished unreservedly:
Joys, treasured joys--have passed, as time hath lengthened,
Into obscurity.

If then, O soul, the brook thy heart hath cherished
Doth fail thee now--no more thy thirst assuage--
If its once glad refreshing streams have perished,
Let HIM thy heart engage.

He will not fail, nor mock, nor dissapoint thee:
His comfort and care change not with the years:
With oil of joy He surely will anoint thee,
And wipe away thy tears.

--J. Danson Smith

Be Still...

I am probably the world's worst person at being still. Even in moments when life is not hurried, I get busy distracting myself with a book, the computer, or by texting/calling friends. This afternoon was no different. After Sunday dinner and spending some time on the computer I decided to get some exercise. So I donned my tennis shoes, grabbed my i-pod, and headed out the door for a brisk walk in the Autumn air. Only today was different. As I crossed the highway and began pumping down my favorite gravel road, suddenly my music seemed like so much noise, and my heart-pounding pace seemed much too rushed. Something seemed to say, "Slow down, and enjoy the beauty of this day." So I did. I pulled out my ear-buds, stuck my i-pod in my pocket, and slowed my calorie-burning pace down to a leisurely stroll. And I listened...and watched...and absorbed...and oh the delightful things I discovered.

I heard the soft crunch of gravel under my shoes. I felt a gentle breeze, free from the humidity of summer and carrying a hint of the chill of winter, blow across my face and cause the dry cornstalks in the field beside me to rustle. I listened to the incessant buzz of cicadas in the trees, and the musical chirp of crickets in the grass. I watched tiny black beetles scurry across the road, saw a fuzzy brown caterpillar inch its way along, and observed a large, gangly grasshopper thump its way home. I saw small, yellow butterflies dance in midair, and swoop to nearly touch my face. I stopped to pick some bright purple clover and a little white wildflower resembling a miniature daisy. I picked up an acorn that fell from a tree unto the road beside me and felt its smooth, round surface. I looked up to see tall trees with multi-colored leaves silhouetted against a bright blue sky. And as I walked, and looked, and listened, I found my mind calming down, and my thoughts turning to prayer and thankfulness to God for the simple beauty He has created.

So often I rush though life at a frantic and distracted pace, and I forget the simple command to "Be still, and know that I am God." Today I was reminded of that need to calm my heart and simply listen as God speaks to me, be it though the pages of His Word or the beauty of His creation.

A Glimpse into My Scattered Thoughts

If you could hear what is now going on in my head...

"Watching a soccer game and eating at Taco Bell, what a great dad/daughter date tonight!"

"I should go to bed early."

"I should stay up and read my book."

"I hope Steve calls tonight!"

"Can't wait to train in customer service tomorrow!"

"Don't want to go to work tomorrow..."

"When is my next day off?"

"Friday is payday!"

"Why do I have nothing interesting to say?"

"Yay! My friend texted me!"

"Ice cream sounds good."

"I really need to go running"

"..and I've had that song in my head all day..."

"FOCUS, Heidi!"

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand." Psalm 16:11

Penguins

An important life lesson was illustrated to me today...by penguins. No, really. In the movie Madagascar my favorite characters are the military penguins. Throughout the entire movie they pursue the seemingly unattainable goal of reaching Antarctica, their beloved homeland where they believe everything will be perfect. The entire movie is spent in a series of mishaps, and more drama befalls the less interesting characters, until finally at the end the penguins sail off into the sunset and arrive at their destination. Antarctica! As they stand in a huddle on a frozen iceberg surrounded by bitter wind and blowing snow one of them eloquently comments, "Well this sucks."

At this point I just have to laugh, because this is exactly the way I feel about life sometimes (not the part where it sucks ;-) Often I spend my life looking ahead to the future, pursuing the next step, reaching for the seemingly unattainable goal...yet when I finally reach that place I find myself dissatisfied, disillusioned, and longing for things to be different than they really are. Just like the penguins I can be discontent with the place where I am at instead of being thankful for the blessings that surround me in the present day (even though I've never been stranded on a beautiful tropical island).

Contentment. It should be so simple yet it is a often a daily battle. The apostle Paul in his letter to the Philippians writes, "...I have learned in whatever state I am to be content." I hope that someday I can truthfully echo Paul's statement. Until then, I'll continue to take a lesson from my penguin friends and daily strive for contentment at the place in which God has placed me.

Sacrifice

I love this quote. It provides much to contemplate.

"For my own part, I have never ceased to rejoice that God has appointed me to such an office. People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such a view, and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. I never made a sacrifice." ---David Livingstone

(found in the book Desiring God)

Today's Treasure #2

"Then the presidents and the satraps sought to find a ground for complaint against Daniel with regard to the kingdom, but they could find no ground for complaint or any fault, because he was faithful, and no error or fault was found in him."
-Daniel 6:4 (ESV)

Oh to have that saying be true in my life. What if this was my testimony at work? Lord, help me be faithful.

Today's Treasure #1

"O our God...we do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
-2 Chronicles 20:12 (NIV)

This verse spoke to my heart today. It sums up much of what life feels like...and where my focus should be fixed.

Mercy Covers All...

I heard a song on the radio this morning and it has been in my head all day. I have heard many songs more profound and eloquently written, yet today this song made me want to cry...out of joy, out of thankfulness, and out of a deep longing to fully realize what it means to know that the mercy of my God covers ALL.

You Carried Me

I've been so busy, I missed the reasons
I missed Your love, and I nearly missed it all.
Still You loved me, and You've healed me,
You've given all and it brought me to Your cross
I stand only because You've given me grace to walk.
Only because...

You carried me,
You carried me,
You carried me through it all,
And I believe
Yes I believe,
You'll carry me all the way home,
Cause mercy covers all.

I know the scripture, I've known the songs,
I sang the words from my hollowed heart.
But You've spoken softly through the storm,
I've heard Your voice and I've felt the calm
I stand only because You've given me faith to walk.
Only because...

You carried me,
You carried me,
You carried me through it all.
And I believe,
Yes I believe,
You'll carry me all the way home,
Cause mercy covers all.

-Building 429
Word Records

Death, where is your victory?

What a weekend it has been for Faith Baptist Church and the Robbins' household. On Friday morning we got the phone call saying that after a long, hard battle with sickness, a dear lady from our church had gone home to Heaven.

The death of a believer brings such a paradox of emotions; on the one hand I grieve over the loss of someone who was another Grandma to me, yet at the same time I rejoice for her because she is now free from pain and experiencing fullness of joy in Heaven.

This song has meant a lot to me recently. It eloquently speaks of the paradox of a believer's homegoing. How thankful I am for the hope that we have through Jesus!

It is Not Death to Die

(Stanza 1)

It is not death to die,

To leave this weary road,

And join the saints who dwell on high

Who've found their home with God.

It is not death to close

The eyes long dimmed by tears,

And wake in joy before Your throne

Delivered from our fears.

(Chorus)

Oh Jesus, conquering the grave

Your precious blood has power to save.

Those who trust in You

Will in Your mercy find

That it is not death to die.

(Stanza 2)

It is not death to fling

Aside this earthly dust,

And rise with strong and noble wing

To live among the just.

It is not death to hear

The key unlock the door

That sets us free from mortal years

To praise You evermore.

(Chorus)

Oh Jesus, conquering the grave

Your precious blood has power to save.

Those who trust in You

Will in Your mercy find

That it is not death to die.

(2008 Sovereign Grace Praise)

(Words and Music by Henri Malan and Bob Kauflin)

One Short Day (Weekend)

This weekend, I saw two of the men that I love. Now before you are alarmed may I explain that one was my boyfriend, Stephen, and the other my brother, Nathan.

Friday morning found me leaving the house at 6:15 with mom and dad to go meet up with New Life (Faith's traveling music team) in St. Louis. The parents dropped me off at my dear friends', Joe and Becky Groppel's house, and I proceeded to go with the Groppel's to meet up with New Life. I must say that it was a wonderful moment when Steve and I saw each other after six weeks! ;-) We spent the day taking pictures at the Arch, walking around the city, eating at the Old Spaghetti Factory, getting caught in traffic, and racing through the zoo. It was such a blessing to be not only with Steve, but also with many dear friends that travel on the team.

Friday night we met up with the parents back at a church in Roxana, Illinois for the evening concert. What an incredible spiritual encouragement it was to hear the uplifting music, and be encouraged from the truth of God's Word. At the end of the concert I found myself in tears, moved by many emotions, and thankful to God for the special day He allowed me to spend with people I love.

I decided that saying goodbyes all over again felt like ripping open a scab that had just begun to heal. Goodbyes are painful, but time eases the sting...however, seeing people and being forced to leave again re-opens the wound. Oh well...relationships with people are worth the pain they may cause. ;-)

Saturday brought on the second round of excitement! Nathan arrived in the afternoon of the 4th with his team, the Gospel Heralds, from Appalachian Bible College. After they set up at the church we headed out for a big cook-out at the home of some church friends. Although it was a rainy, cloudy day, we managed to have fun playing Wii fit and Apples to Apples, talking, and preparing ourselves to watch fireworks on wet grass. The town fireworks were a little soggy, but enjoyable. I was blessed to get to know the people who are putting up with my brother all summer long. :-)

Today we were ministered to by the Gospel Heralds, and once again I was blessed to hear the God-focused music and testimonies. I also felt a certain amount of pride in seeing my little brother sing, preach, play the piano, and minister to the glory of God. He has matured and grown so much and it is an honor to be his big sister! ;-)

That concludes my all too short weekend....God is so good to allow us special times that break up the routine of life. Now a new week begins with a whole new set of challenges. I'll keep you posted!

Daddy's Girl

Today is Father's Day, and it wouldn't be appropriate to let the day pass without giving some kind of acknowledgement to the man who has so shaped my life...my dad. In looks, everyone tells me I take after my mother, but in personality, I am my father's daughter. We share so much in common; the desire to learn, understand, and question until we get things right, a love for reading, writing, and occasionally waxing poetic, a love for people, a stubborn streak, the tendency to be slightly distracted, and a dry, if not slightly ridiculous sense of humor. ;-)

I have learned so much from my dad. He showed me by example what it means to be faithful in the tasks of everyday life, through ups and downs, and times of drought and blessing. He taught me how to ride a bike, how to drive, and how to balance a checkbook. He supported and helped me through minor car accidents, boy problems, and spiritual struggles. He constantly challenged me to be reading God's Word, applying it to my life, and to keep looking to Jesus. To this day, he continues to support, listen, and challenge me and help me through each new phase of life.

I'm thankful for the incredible influence he's had in my life...and today I want him to know. I love you, Dad!

A page from my highschool scrapbook

Playing baseball in the yard

(If you look closely you'll see my stylin' green jellies!)

Oh the nineties...

Still enjoying baseball together!

Just bein' ourselves! :-)

Six Flags and Suffering

The title of this post might leave you a little puzzled....hang on a minute and I'll explain. I've learned two things related to these topics this week and I wanted to alliterate the title so thats how it came about. :-)

Six Flags. On Tuesday of this week, I learned that I am getting old. After spending the day riding in a van and running around an amusement park with a group of mostly seventh and eighth graders I realized that, at last, the aging process has begun! The first hint at aging came in the surprised look on the face of one of the seventh graders when she found out that I had graduated from high school in 2004. However, I am not about to let a little thing like my age ruin a good time...we spent the day riding every roller coaster possible, looking for change on the ground, daring to ride the "Big Kahuna" water slide, and in general, having a great time. I only feared for my life once. ;-)
The second clue to my aging was my utter exhaustion at the end of the day. While the kids bounced around the van on a sugar high after supper...I was ready for bed. So ended my day at Six Flags.

Suffering. Believe it or not, the suffering is not related to my trip with the Youth Group. I just finished reading the book Jesus Freaks: Martyrs by DC Talk. Basically, its a modernized Foxe's Book of Martyrs, including stories of Christian persecution from ancient history up until modern times. This was a challenging book to read, simply because it made me realize that I have suffered nothing for my faith in comparision with what countless others have been willing to suffer for Jesus Christ. The horrors some people have faced in order to pass from this life to eternity are nearly unbearable...yet their firm faith brought them through even the worst torture and enabled them to claim Christ until the very end. I pray that my faith would be that strong. One particular quote brought tears to my eyes,

"My dear Jesus, my Savior, is so deeply written in my heart, that I feel confident, that if my heart were to be cut open and chopped to pieces, the name of Jesus would be found written on every piece."
-- Ignatius (a student of the Apostle John, devoured by wild animals in Rome, 111 AD)

If you are interested in being informed about or praying for current Christian persecution, check out this web site...
www.persecution.com

Change: The Rhythm of Life

Hello, blogging world! Once again, after only a five month absence I am returning to this cyber-existence where I can pour out my thoughts.... Actually, I am quite excited about writing again; it has been far too long. So, here I am again to share my ponderings about things serious and trivial. Maybe I will entertain a few of you who stumble across my writings, and maybe, hopefully, I will provoke some of you to sit and think a little longer about some of the deeper meanings of life. And if no one really cares to read at all...thats ok with me.

Change. In music, rhythm is the element that brings a beat; it adds a pulse, creates varying patterns and provides an element of surprise...rhythm is what keeps music interesting, allowing every song to differ in style and presentation. Granted, many other elements are equally important, but without rhythm, nothing would drive the song forward.

I've decided that change is 'the rhythm of life'; it keeps life from becoming dull, always bringing movement, surprise, and a 'recurring pattern.' Once in a while, I start to wish that life didn't bring so many changes. Change is difficult to cope with at times; it gets us out of our comfort zones, it forces us to explore new places and ideas, it moves us from the familiar out into the unknown. Now, more than ever, I feel the effects of change. Here I stand, a recent college grad (yay!), up-rooted from my 'home' for four of the past five years, separated from friends and my dear boyfriend, pursuing a full-time job, and feeling slightly at a loss as to how to go about establishing myself in the 'adult' world. Sometimes, the rhythms of life are complex.

At times like this, I am thankful for a God who does not change. He has the 'rhythm of life' all figured out and I can trust Him to direct it in His 'perfect timing'. (Yes, that was an intentional pun). I am ready to face whatever is to come in this new stage of life...my world will continue to change, but my God will not. Because of that I will joyfully move ahead into what He has orchestrated for me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 " Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

Is it too late?

I'm a bit hesitant to post on here for fear that I leave this blog desolate for yet another year. But I am feeling inspired today...and maybe this year's resolution should be to start writing more frequently to get some practice.
The real truth about why I am writing is that I am procrastinating...imagine that...and I feel absolutely inspired by an amazing quote I read in The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. So with that confession, I leave you with a quote to contemplate...

"No one need be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts...eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all He has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more."

Until next time...